Dad for President (of the House)

Courtesy of Adam Pace @
Today I am announcing my candidacy for President of our House. Over the past few years it's become abundantly apparent to me that there is technically no President of our house. This gave me pause: Without an appointed leader decided by the democratic process, how will the kids of Klems Manor know who to complain to about having to eat their broccoli? That's where a President of the House comes in—the President can tell them exactly who to complain to (Mom).

My wife has also decided to become a candidate because, chiefly, I'm making her. She's also scared of my potential rules, which include "Lingerie Mondays," "Lingerie Tuesdays," "Lingerie Wednesdays," "Bacon Thursdays" and "Lingerie Fridays."  On weekends, lingerie would be optional (must be married to the president to participate). 

Why do I want to be President of our House? Because I want to help build a better future for my children (and, also, my Twitter bio has become a little stale and could use some new accolades). In order to give our voters (my kids) a fair, unbiased and objective look at me as a candidate, I've created my first campaign commercial. It is meant to inform and state my positions on most hot button issues around our house. Forgive me for the low video quality—my wife and I have agreed not to accept any money from big business to finance our campaigns.

Good luck to my opponent. I wish her well. I also suggest she stocks up on lingerie. And bacon.

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